Enticing Deutch Odyssey

Indeed..Im wrapping up a chapter...

'Time flies', this is a term which is cery commonly used in daily life.. However, i never knew the true meaning of it till recently..

Good times and bad times i have gone through throughout my stay here in Germany seemed just like yesterday...

From Malaysia to Germany, from knowing close to nothing in German, from knowing close to no one in Germany, from being fearful and worrisome to venture out of a comfort zone....

It has been close to 8 and a half months now...

Though i must admit, there were times where i dreaded to be back where i knew i was very much welcomed, a place called home, i am thankful to my family and handful of buddies for bringing me back on track, lifting my spirits and not letting it sway away..

For one thing, external support is important.. In a land far away from home, most of the times, you yourself would be your own support and motivation.. If you fall, you have got to get up fast for not many will drop by and lend a helping hand..Stay lying on the ground, is as good as digging your own grave...

Perhaps some may ponder, through the connotation of my conversation, how do i really feel in Germany? Or am i showing signs of 'fatigue'? or was i close to giving up?

I ponder these questions myself too...Only after a string of events which happened lately did i find out much which i didnt know, or much that i took for granted..

All exchange years are unique in their own ways.... Participants of exchange programs learn and change on their own pace, through their respective exposures, comparisons on who has learnt more cant be made, as it is all in all something very different...

Ask me what i have learnt, theres no definite answer to it... For in my humble opinion, exercising what we exchange students have learnt, or just me, what i have learnt would be something very abstract, whereby only actions can tell....

Ask me if i have changed, it is almost definite yes, i have.. Ask me if its for the better or worse, i would not be able to tell, nor would it be for people to judge...Being caught in between cultures of the east and west is not uncommon, it took time to assimilate myself to the western culture; likewise, it would take time for me to assimilate back to a typical eastern Malaysian culture. However, my senses tell me that im still very much me.

Ask me what i have experienced, alot...When opinions clashed... When conflicts arised... Consequences i had to bear with when i wasnt 'street wise' enough.. the list goes on....and most importantly, i have experienced 'easier said than done'...

It perplexes me how long it took to break the ice...Perhaps, i should put it this way, it perplexes me how long i took to feel comfortable enough to go all out and out...Very often, what happens or revolves around oneself or in this case, myself, i realised resembles a mirror, a guidance to oneself, to the situation...Though it took me some time to understand what the mirror was reflecting and indeed even longer to act upon it, im nevertheless glad that i have though the great delay...

There are things whereby when effort is put in, anticipated results are guaranteed... There are however things that dont show results even when a Herculean of effort has been made... I tried hard to blend in, i was dissapointed when there were no signs of improvement..Only lately did i realise, these are one of those things which are out of my control..Overzealousness is a bad habit i learnt to kick off... Time would take its toll, things would come naturally...

Like i said, all exchange years are unique.. Not many can comprehend how life is during an exchange year.. Few out of the exchange program can comprehend how life is, and not many exchange students can understand each others experience.. It is afterall, like i mentioned, unique...

A great deal of 8 and a half months is in the past whereby laughter and tears were reminisced... A duration of 2 months still remains... Treasuring the remaining days, may it be good or bad, would be what i'll be reminding myself to do...

At the end of my exchange, im convinced i would eventually realise there isnt any rights or wrongs in my exchange year.. It was just somewhat different...

Till i wrap up this chapter, Chongshen.